Transformers Collaborative: G.I. Joe Mash-Up, Megatron H.I.S.S. Tank and Baroness: A toy almost 40 years in the making.

Don't call it a comeback...
 
With every toy release, certain things will always be prioritized over others. Some are hard limits, such as budget and complexity requirements; others are goals to strive for over others. Transformers Legacy aims to bring beloved characters from all across the 38-year history of the Transformers brand together into a unified theme. On the other hand, Transformers Studio Series tries to balance accurate robot modes with the accuracy of licensed vehicles from the six (as of the time of writing) live-action Transformers movies. G.I. Joe Classified's primary goal is to modernize the 3.75-inch 80's G.I. Joe toys while sprinkling in more modernized characters and versions of the Real American Hero icons. With every priority, something is sacrificed. Some characters in Legacy either feel too faithful to the originals or not faithful enough, thanks to the attempts at a unified theme. The need for accurate vehicle modes in Studio Series has led to large chunks of (primarily) car mode panels hanging off the robots' backs due to the complexity of the movie designs. Some designs in the Classified line feel too rooted in the 80's aesthetic, making things feel more like a hodgepodge of goals when you start looking at the line as a whole. The point of all of this? Well, it would be an understatement to say that this toy has to do a lot. 

G.I. Joe and Transformers are no strangers to each other. Many eras of comics intertwine the two brands together; references to G.I. Joe have been found in Transformers multiple times, from Marissa Fairborn in the Generation 1 cartoon being written as the daughter of Flint and Lady Jaye, Old Snake being an alias of Cobra Commander, and even in Transformers Prime where the military planes Agent Fowler uses in the attack on the Decepticon's base on earth being called Skystrikers. When it came to toys, though, while there were a few over the years, including Energon Snowcat, Combiner Wars Viper, numerous G.I. Joe and Cobra vehicles repainted as Transformers characters, and a subscription service figure of Serpent O.R to name a small handful of them, none of it hit the need that a lot of fans of both brands were after. Iconic Transformers characters transforming into G.I. Joe and Cobra vehicles that could interact with the 3.75-inch RAH figures. Right before this toy was revealed, I posted an opinion piece on the possibility of getting transforming Joe and Cobra vehicles in the modern Transformers scale, something that would have sacrificed the 3.75-inch compatability for cost and size, as it seemed like getting it all was going to be an impossible feet, something that this toy (depending on who you ask) confirms or debunks that belief. Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, transforming into the iconic Cobra H.I.S.S Tank and including... a Retro O-Ring Baroness with it... okay, maybe not the perfect combo, but it does leave the door open for Cobra Commander coming with a possible Starscream. Is it everything fans have wanted? Well, if you got the hint from the very first paragraph, not quite. 

I'll start small and work my way up, which means we're starting with the O-Ring Baroness. "What is it?" "What does O-Ring mean?" effectively, it's a re-release of the 1984 Baroness figure. The only potential difference is that the O-Ring (a name given to a rubber ring inside most of, if not every 3.75-inch G.I. Joe toy from the '80s that held the torso together while giving the figures a waist swivel and ab crunch) is made of a different, apparently more robust rubber. Seeing this next to the H.I.S.S Tank driver that came with the Retro H.I.S.S III, I can see the differences between the two engineering styles. Baroness is noticeably smaller and a bit more restricted in certain areas of articulation, though the only thing I wish she had was a wrist swivel to help make the laser gun she comes with look more natural in her hands. She also helps to highlight the moulding changes they make in the H.I.S.S III to accommodate the taller driver, with things like the foot pegs on the back being a different, smaller size.

 
The sculpting work on her is nice, though there are certain elements where I can see what they were going for, but it doesn't quite work. The sculpting on her boots makes it look like she's wearing baggy pants hidden under black armour, while her glasses look more like large painted circles rather than eyewear. The way the rest of Baroness's face is sculpted as well reminds me of Daria from Bevis and Butt-head. She looks bored rather than threatening. The giant laser rifle looks okay, just awkward in her hand thanks to the way the hands were moulded, and you can't get her to look like she's shooting at someone. The backpack is a nice inclusion, though all it does is act like a decorative screw hole cover, with the only noteworthy thing about it being the sculpted Cobra logo on it. I don't think she's inherently wrong, but I will admit my experience with her figures in the Classified line ahead of time is causing me to be more critical of her. Sometimes it is difficult to objectively judge an older product when you've had more experience with later versions (why do you think I'll never review an original G1 Transformer?). Suppose you're a Joe fan, especially a vintage/ retro collector. In that case, you'll appreciate getting this more than any Transformer fan picking the set up as to them, she comes off more as an accessory, especially with all the ways that the 3.75-inch figures can interact with Megatron. 

 
While usually, I would go from vehicle mode to robot mode when discussing Transformers, I want to save the vehicle mode for last as the vehicle mode is one of the biggest priorities for this figure, even more than the robot mode. You will be disappointed if you're a Transformers fan who wants a Megatron. While this Megatron has an impressive size and mass to him, it doesn't feel like a cohesive blend of Decepticon and Cobra due to the reliance on the Generation 1 look. The black HISS Tank pieces hang off of the mainly grey Megatron, resulting in a very cumbersome-looking robot mode, almost on a level like many Beast Wars figures, especially Beast Wars II and Beast Wars Neo toys. The plastic choice and lack of weight for what is effectively a Commander Class figure also give the toy a little knock-off feel too it, though I think some who have reviewed this toy already have exaggerated this element of the toy. The toy is, unfortunately, very hollow, with almost none of the H.I.S.S Tank mass trying to hide this fact. Though it might be Commander Class in price, it doesn't feel like Commander Class in hand, likely due to the fact that this wasn't given a Commander Class budget in development due to the need to include The Baroness. This toy feels like a Leader Class toy blown up to Commander Class size, so I recommend getting it at a price closer to that Leader Class price if you can. I got the toy for just under $100, which helps make the figure feel better than it would have at $120.

 
In terms of functionality, there are some interesting elements of play that can be found here. The H.I.S.S Tank's turret is still fully functional, meaning that you can have Baroness or any other 3.75-inch figure man the Diablo Cannons while riding on Megatron's back. Said cannons, along with Megatron's Fusion Cannon, are compatible with the blast effects pieces that came with some of the War for Cybertron Trilogy figures, and due to the cannons being Transformer standard 5mm connections to the toy, you could arm any figure with the cannons, and replace them with many different combinations of Transformers weapons. As inconsequential as that might be for many, I love that because it adds a level of novel stupidity to the toy I genuinely love. Want to give the H.I.S.S Tank a pair of Optimus' Ion Blaster? You can do that. Starscream's Null Rays? Sure. Are you like me and have way too many copies of the War for Cybertron Megatron toy and want to arm the H.I.S.S Tank with multiple Fusion Cannons? Completely doable. The choice is yours and yours alone. Another thing about this toy that is funnier than it has any right to be is the fact that the plugs typically meant for standing figures behind the H.I.S.S Tank still exist on this toy, meaning that when that otherwise meaningless piece of plastic is used as "Megatron's Shield" in robot mode, you can have troopers dangling for dear life while Megatron uses them as meat shields. Sure, none of this is intentional, but it makes the figure more entertaining and helps to cover up its shortcomings in robot mode. 

Many of the shortcomings in Robot mode can be traced back to the need to be as close to a 1:1 recreation of the 1983 H.I.S.S Tank, and in the vehicle mode is where this toy shines, though I think they could have deviated a little more. One of the things I love about this toy compared to the H.I.S.S III release is that almost all the stickers from the original toy are now painted details. The 788 number at the front, the light bar, the Cobra faction logos, and the only sticker missing when compared to the H.I.S.S III is the turret control panel. However, I feel it's a missed opportunity not to have some brand crossover with the decorations. Things like a mashup of the Cobra and Decepticon logos like what they did with the Combiner Wars Viper toy, potentially a "kill count" detail on the side that could show how many Autobots and G.I. Joes have been killed, little things like those to help blend the two brands in this mode. An impressive feat for this toy is that, except for some gap lines on the body and a few Megatron pieces poking out, you can hardly tell that this toy transforms. It would almost effortlessly blend in with a collection of vintage H.I.S.S Tanks without anyone noticing (depending on if you're storing the Fusion Cannon on him, of course, that is a bit of a dead giveaway). The functionality of the original toy is also carried over into this toy, with the cockpit able to house a figure as a driver, the turret able to be manned by a figure, and two more able to ride on the back. A tow hook is also included to allow the tank to tow any of the portable artillery found in the Real American Hero toyline back in the 80s. However, I don't know how compatible it is as I don't own any tow vehicles. Unlike the original H.I.S.S Tank, the Vulcan Turrets can move independently, allowing them to look more dynamic for display and play, further emphasized by the aforementioned blast effects posts. The H.I.S.S Tank mode is undoubtedly the star of the show, but is it worth the complete package?

 
Is this a good H.I.S.S Tank toy? Yes... but there are some compromises for the sake of Megatron. Is this a good Megatron toy? No. You're likely better off getting either a dedicated H.I.S.S Tank or a dedicated Megatron toy. Does this blend the two franchises together in an ideal way? No. Does it scratch the itch? Yes. Yes it does. This is the toy that many have been wanting for decades. While it may not be great, there may be better Transformers characters to turn into a H.I.S.S Tank; there may be better Cobra characters to include as the pack-in, and there may be better ways to incorporate more of what makes the two brands unique. But considering the brief this toy has. Turn the iconic leader of the Decepticons into the iconic Cobra tank that interacts with the '80s 3.75-inch figures in all the ways the original H.I.S.S Tank did, and do it at a leader class budget. It did those to the best of its ability, and it's a great toy as a result. Maverick felt like a collector's piece. Gigawatt felt like a collector's piece. X-Spance, The Jurassic Pack 2 pack, and Dracula all felt like collector's pieces, novelties for those who like the two brands (and none of which I own, so don't ask for reviews). This feels like a toy. This feels like the toy 80's kids have wanted since they were kids. This is as fun as a toy crossing over two wildly popular '80s toy lines should be, so I recommend getting it if you can, especially if you love one of the brands and have been curious about the other.

G.I. Joe Retro Collection Cobra H.I.S.S III (with Rip It): The camera really does add mass.

Apologies for the month's hiatus. A combination of events including a return to work, lack of new toys that I feel could hold up a review on their own (I don't hear many requests for a review of the Lego Microfighters Razor Crest), an upcoming review on the other site for Pokemon Legends Arceus and work behind the scenes on recording more parts of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky for the RAWs channel. I do have something, though, that can be considered almost a prequel for a future review. Announced at the Hasbro Pulse live stream for the anniversary of G.I. Joe, fans of both G.I. Joe and Transformers will eventually be treated to a crossover toy, with Megatron transforming into a Cobra H.I.S.S. Tank. According to the stream, this will be the same size as a vintage H.I.S.S. Tank, as the toy will come with a Retro Baroness figure. So naturally, this got me curious about potentially reviewing a H.I.S.S. Tank, to do something many Transformers fans rarely get to do: compare the toy to the vehicle it's based on. One roughly $90 purchase from Amazon U.S. later, and the H.I.S.S. III is in my collection, as it was cheaper for me to get this than to find a complete vintage H.I.S.S. It even comes in Soundwave blue to act as a nice holdover until I potentially... hopefully... unlikely get that SDCC toy. Anyway, here's a review of the H.I.S.S. III.

I'll start this review by looking at Rip It, who, according to his bio sentences, can't even be described with words like mean and fearless. I might be more impressed if I saw the original card, but thanks to multi-language requirements, all I get is two sentences about how he wants to destroy things before being destroyed. I'm certainly more impressed with this guy than I am with my experiences with the Star Wars Vintage Collection, thanks to all the articulation in him. This figure is, to me, surprisingly agile. The only joint I wish he had (thanks to the Classified line spoiling me) is an inward ankle tilt. While it might be because of the extra vest over the torso, something I am looking to get a better feel of going forward, I don't see the point in bringing back the rubber O-Ring that was used in the 80s to add what would best be described as a waist swivel halfway up the stomach. While I acknowledge that these are effectively re-releases, and changing them would be akin to changing joints on Transformers G1 reissues, it somewhat fails as a selling point for me, as I've seen many other ways to do this style of movement that came out after the '80s. While Rip It and the H.I.S.S. III are 2000's toys; they are re-releases of the original H.I.S.S. Tank from the '80s, with most of Rip It's parts coming from the moulds used for the original H.I.S.S. Tank driver (except for the waist, which came from the 1992 Talking Battle Commander version of Cobra Commander). A potential Quality Control fault of my copy is his inability to stand straight. The legs want to snap back to have him lean forward a little, but this isn't the end of the world as he looks great when sitting down in the tank's cockpit. All it does is make the stand he comes with that bit more redundant for me. Still, he makes for a nice accompanying piece for the tank but wouldn't be anything special on his own.

 

Beauty in simplicity best describes the original H.I.S.S. Tank. While other versions have caught my interest thanks to how they deviate while keeping to the feel of the original (such as the 2005 version and the 2012 versions), there's still a nice charm to the original design. As with most of the parts for Rip It, this is, as far as I can tell, a repaint of the original H.I.S.S. Tank, with the only differences being the plastic colour the main body was moulded in, new paint on the tank treads, and new sticker details. There may also be differences in plastics used between releases, but if all you want is a H.I.S.S. Tank, and don't care about it not being black, then this is a valid version to get, based on looks alone. It is amusing to look at this toy after seeing how insane some of the later Cobra vehicles became in the 80s and 90s, along with how later incarnations deviate from the original look. This tank looks and feels underpowered and reserved in comparison, like looking at a picture of a Star-Wars AT-AT, without the context of the size, and comparing it to vehicles like the AT-TE and the AT-M6. Not the toy's fault of course; time is just cruel. In terms of functions, you have a set of fake wheels to allow the tank to move, though it is a shame that the wheels are locked as pairs rather than four stand-alone wheels as it makes turning harder to do. You also have a rotating turret with the linked guns to angle up and down. A tow hook is on the back of the tank, which gives it compatibility with the tow vehicles from around the time of the original H.I.S.S. Tank, but something I'm not sure can be easily used now as I don't know if said vehicles have been re-released. A figure can be seated in the cockpit quite comfortably with the windscreen able to close over them; however, hairstyle and accessories may become an issue, with three more figures able to hitch a ride thanks to the turret having room for a gunner. Two plugs on the back of the tank give space for two more figures to stand on and hitch a ride. It's certainly not the most action-packed toy, but considering it was likely intended as a moderately priced toy, not the big toy for the year but not one of the smallest either, it does the job very well. I was surprised by how small it was and the box it came in. From what I had seen, I was expecting something a little bigger, with a box much larger. It's making me question if I actually would have the room for one of those Haslab Skystrikers, but even if I did, I didn't order one, so it won't be an issue. 

The H.I.S.S. III is in an interesting position for me when it comes to summing up my views on it and figuring out if it's worth it. Hasbro reissues of Transformers aren't generally worth the cost; I believe they're overpriced for what they are (at least they are here in Australia). The main reason for this is that they've often shared shelf space with the modern versions of the characters that are cheaper, can do more, and are just overall better toys. Rip It would fall into this category as well, as while there is no Classified version of him yet, it's hard to say, "yes, go get a new version of this 80's figure that costs more then the larger figure with more paint applications, more detailed sculpting and more articulation". But there is no modern H.I.S.S. Tank on the shelves right now (at least here in Australia, where there isn't any version of the H.I.S.S. Tank on shelves). Sure, Megatron H.I.S.S. is coming out in a few months, and while that objectively does more than the H.I.S.S. III, it's cheating to do that by being a Transformer. By modern standards, I wouldn't say the H.I.S.S. III is a good toy, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy with it. The H.I.S.S. Tank is an iconic vehicle from the Real American Hero toyline, and just having a version of the tank is a delight for someone who likes the vehicles. Bringing cost back into consideration, I believe this is a cheaper way to get a copy of the toy compared to purchasing a vintage one; however, I'm not in the know when it comes to vintage G.I. Joe toy buying outside of Facebook live streams and eBay (which at time of writing didn't have a vintage copy listed anywhere). In that regard, I do think it's worth it, but in saying that, I wish there were a Classified equivalent line for bringing new versions of the vehicles to collectors' hands (albeit not in a 6-inch scale, some of those vehicles would be massive at that size). If you are a fan of the tank itself, this is a great way to get it.