G.I. Joe Classified Destro, Profit Director P.D Destro, Baroness with Cobra C.O.I.L and Movie Baroness: A large one to end the year on.

With 2021 coming to a close, bringing with it another year of trying to kill time during lockdowns, I've got one last review in me for the year before beginning the celebratory Best and Worst lists. With it being Cobra's time to shine, who's left to cover? Zartan? I've got the Pulsecon exclusive coming, so I'll wait to review both versions. How about the Red Ninjas, Cobra Vipers or Cobra Infantry? It's like ending the year with a review of a Stormtrooper, rather generic for the final review of the year. That only leaves two, and if the Joe's can have a double review of an iconic pair, why not give Cobra the same treatment? While I'm at it, why not cover a pair of reinterpretations? So, to end the year, let's look at G.I Joe Classified #03: Destro, Cobra Island #13: Baroness with Cobra C.O.I.L, #15: Profit Director Destro and #19, Snake Eyes Origins Baroness.

I'll go in the order I got them for this review, so I'll start with one of the few remaining members of Wave 1 to review: Destro (I'll get to you someday, Scarlet). Destro's an interesting case for me because out of all the Wave 1 figures; I found him to be rather dull at the time. When compared to the modernizations of Duke, Scarlet, Roadblock and Snake Eyes, Destro felt very safe and uneventful, scaled up remake of his original toy. But, with the element of hindsight and seeing how the line has evolved since Wave 1, I've grown more of an appreciation for Destro. The strengths in the design come from simplicity. In terms of design, this is a modern reinterpretation of his 1983 toy, the only new details being a new gold pistol accessory and some new paint and moulding details on the shoulders, briefcase, knees and boots. Just enough detail to break up the black without it being overpowering. Not counting the Cobra logo on the briefcase, I do appreciate the snake motif being toned down compared to characters like Cobra Commander and (as I'll go into later) The Baroness. Like with the original toy, the collar around Destro's shirt is designed like the Cobra Logo, but it's a detail most wouldn't recognize at first, adding to the brilliance of the subtlety. For accessories, Destro comes with a faithful recreation of his Laster gun, a reimagining of his suitcase to include painted in cash and a Cobra computer inside, and a gold futuristic revolver sidearm. Rather tame for a weapons specialist, but still appreciated.

If the priority for Destro was subtlety, Profit Director Destro's priority is extravagance. As for its history... it's complicated. Starting life as a traditional repaint of Destro's 1992 toy in 1997, a joke re-release was developed but not released, though some claim to have seen it at retail. The design got the nickname Pimp Daddy Destro thanks to the delightfully obnoxious leopard print added to the design, and something that Profit Director Destro (because you can't release a toy called Pimp Daddy anymore) takes and runs with. Everything about this is delightfully stupid. The gold head with the dark red and leopard print costume and the two-tiered cape with leopard skin on the back is laughable for all the right reasons. The fact that two of his accessories are a pair of pimp sunglasses (that, unfortunately, require glue to stay on) and some money on fire sells the stupidity of the design. They went all out on this repaint, both good and bad, because they overestimated how many people would want it. I still find store shelves with this guy on them as the only G.I. Joe Classified figure there, complete case assortments of them because no one's buying him. While I'm glad this exists, figures like this are why brands like Transformers have lines like Generations Selects, the lines where the semi niche, absolutely nerdy stretch repaints go for those who want more. At least if you want one, you can likely still find one in dedicated stores like Toyworld.

From a toy, they overestimated the demand for, to one they underestimated the need for (initially). Cobra Island Baroness with the Cobra C.O.I.L. I'll go over the C.O.I.L first before covering Baroness because while many people wanted to get rid of this thing and get the character, I love this bike design. This vehicle is new for the Classified line, as Cobra didn't have an equivalent to G.I. Joe's RAM Cycle. If anyone's curious, though, Coil was used as a name in G.I. Joe before. Coil was the name of a Cobra offshoot unit, and Cobra Coils was the driver's name for the 2003 vehicle, the Cobra Tread Fire. On the other hand, The Classified C.O.I.L is a modern styled motorcycle, the kind of bike you'd see in action movies. The bike is sleek, clearly built for speed while still packing a nice amount of onboard firepower. I would honestly love to see this re-released with a generic army builder repaint of Baroness. Her with a small squad of these would look imposing in a display. In terms of functionality, there isn't much here that's overly impressive. The bike has an excellent turning circle while still connected to the toy's handlebars. The ball joints used to connect the actual handles to the assembly give enough flexibility to help with attaching a figure to the bike. The kickstand also works well enough to keep the motorcycle standing upright on a shelf, and the guns can be removed and held by a figure. Is it a mind-blowing accessory? No, but I certainly prefer it over the RAM.

As for The Baroness herself, like the regular release of Destro, she's a faithful remaster of her early toy design, with grey patches helping to break up her outfit without detracting from the black and red. While I love the sculpting and moulding done for the body, I'm not a fan of the head sculpt they gave her. The big offender of this is the glasses they gave her. While they look better than the glasses she used to have, the frame style makes her look older than the rest of the sculpting lets on. While it works for a faithful reimagining of the 80's Baroness, I don't think it works for her modernization. Due to the inclusion of the bike, she doesn't get her rifle from her original toy, instead coming with two golden pistols, a small knife with a snakehead on the handle, akin to the sword Cobra Commander comes with, a helmet for the motorcycle which better incorporates all the joints in the neck, and... some snake gun that involves you sliding her arm through the coils made by the tail? I hate this gun; it stays in the accessories tub. Overall, she's not bad, and she does look outstanding alongside Destro. She's just not what I think of when I think of a modernization of The Baroness.

Ironically, that title would go to the Classified figure of The Baroness from the Snake Eyes movie. Based on Úrsula Corberó Delgado's portrayal of the character, though that's only obvious in the head sculpt. I love details like the shorter, more filled out hairstyle, along with the more angular glasses frames with smaller lenses. Details like that help modernize a character without subtracting from the original design. Another design element inspired by the original toy is the pure black costume with the red Cobra logo. Thanks to a healthy mix of matte black and glossy black, adding subtle separation in the detailing, it doesn't look as bland as you might think it would. One other change is the inclusion of heeled boots, helping to give the figure a sense of authority. One issue I have with the proportions is a minor one; I feel like the neck is a bit too long, something that's highlighted by the fact that this design for the Baroness has her wearing a Choker, along with paint on the torso to help better define her neckline. For accessories, she comes with a submachine gun with a removable silencer (yes people, a Classified figure that has a realistic weapon!) and two machete-like knives. You can remove the glasses, but I consider it more of an accessory to have the likeness align with the actor rather than the character. Because I don't recall her taking the glasses off during the film, they're something I prefer to keep on her and don't consider them an accessory. Though the Cobra Island one may fit in better with the rest of the line, Movie Baroness is an excellent representation of the character and one I recommend even if you're not collecting the Snake Eyes movie figures. 

Though my views are overall mixed when it comes to the four of them, I was pleasantly surprised with how much I appreciated Destro now that I've spent time focusing on him and how much I enjoyed the Movie Baroness. All four figures have the feel of a line still trying to figure out what it wants to do going forward, so it'll be interesting to see how 2022 treats the line, now that things like a pandemic delayed movie won't hamper it. I'm genuinely surprised the line has kept my attention, especially as this started life as an experiment. Marvel Legends didn't catch on, Star Wars I didn't end up trying because Star Wars content doesn't get much attention from my audiences, so to see the Joes, a brand that struggles outside of America, get interested in Australia enough for people to read the reviews of someone using them not only as an excuse to get into the brand, but also begin collecting traditional 6-inch figures has been quite relieving. I have more plans to review more Joes and Cobra characters in the future; maybe someday I'll give the Vintage toys a review as the vehicles were what got me interested initially. Until then, though, reviews will be put on hold until 2022... at least, that's what I would say, if I didn't have one last one in mind. There's not going to be a better time to review him, so next week: The Big Guy.

G.I. Joe Classified Cobra Island Major Bludd: Really trying to break that first boss stigma aren't ya Bluddy?

Due to my lack of knowledge about broader points on the franchise, particularly the "A Real American Hero" era, some characters get a lot of attention, but I struggle to grasp why. Jinx is one, but that's because I've only seen her in the original G.I. Joe movie, where her gimmick was that she was a lousy fighter unless she was blindfolded. While she's more interesting in shows like G.I. Joe Renegades, the original source wasn't that interesting for me. I bring this up because Major Bludd is another one of those characters. He's somewhat interesting in later interpretations (though I struggle to remember much about them), but he came off as a very "First Boss" member of Cobra in the original cartoon. Brock from Pokemon Gen 1, the wrecking ball from Sonic 1, Wispy Woods from Kirby, bosses you remember existing, but don't leave much of an impression because they're the first boss. When he was leaked for Classified (remind me to do a post at some point talking about Hasbro leaks if it interests you because I've got stuff to say, but it may not be interesting), it was a fitting inclusion, but one I probably would have skipped if I didn't know of an easy way to get Classified Figures imported. So, how's the serious, adult collector reboot treating you Cut Man? 

Sculpting wise, Bludd is an interesting figure when compared to other figures in the line. Design-wise, he looks to be a take on the original design run through the same filter as the v6 version from 2005. Going into this review, I thought the cybernetic right arm was an introduction for this design of the character. Still, it looks like it was a part of the original toy (just more visibly shown as a robotic arm and not just an unpainted black arm). Bludd has the feel of a front line trooper in terms of design; he has more body armour and protection on him when compared to other Cobra leaders. I love how the body armour is designed; it's refreshing seeing an extra layer over the torso that doesn't block the ab crunch. It makes him look far more dynamic when compared to figures that limit that joint. The robot arm is also very nicely detailed, thanks to an aggressive feeling sculpting the "metal" plates look like muscle, and even sculpting under the shoulder pad to explain how the arm would move if it were real. Unfortunately, on my copy of the toy, the ratchet in the joint is exceptionally stiff, and I've barely gotten it to move outward. It's not an inherent deal-breaker, as any position I want to replicate can be faked without it; it's just a minor blemish on the quality control. 

While I like the look of the base figure, I'm not as sold on his accessories, though. The two guns look great, and the helmet looks good while it's on him (it would, however, be nice if it worked similar to Lady Jaye's hat to make it more secure on him), everything else is a bit of a miss for me. The dog tags I find to be entirely redundant, and I often leave them off. The backpack with the rockets is the biggest oddity for me. You can plug the rockets into one of the two guns, but because the gun is designed like a handgun, it looks awkward when it's got a rocket on the end of it, doubling its length. Is the pack meant to be like Mandolorian jetpacks, and the rockets are meant to fire from the backpack? If so, couldn't there be some better way to secure them because breathing on them will knock them out. The accessories are based on the original toy, but I don't think these do a good job replicating them because the gun from those toys looks like it's more of a, to put it the best way I can, a rocket crossbow launcher without the bow. Here, the rockets look like an optional form of ammo, and it makes the launcher look awkward as a result. The gun makes for a great looking firearm but an awful looking rocket launcher. This is one figure I'm content with not having completely geared up.

While the core of the toy, Major Bludd himself, is excellent, some elements could have taken a bit longer to perfect, to improve. However, I can see why many people like him; Bludd would likely make my top 10 of the Classified line so far. The best of the line so far? I'm not convinced of yet, but part of that comes from not knowing who would be that "best of Classified 2021". That list will come, but I have two more G.I Joe reviews to get through this year first. The focus of those reviews is up to you (as I doubt any new products will make it here in time). Your choice of Joes are: Scarlet, Flint, Lady Jaye, Breaker, and Commando Snake Eyes with Timber. For Cobra, your options are Destro, Zartan, Cobra's army builders and The Baroness. You have until my next upload, which will cover the Pulsecon reveals that interest me. That will be next week's post, but the following review will be one I wanted to do months ago, but delays got in the way. Rodimus Prime!

G.I. Joe Classified (Cobra Island) 21; Firefly: Now with 100% less explosive robotic flireflies.

"Exclusive figure". A term that screams pain and misery for a lot of collectors due to the extra difficulties. For Transformers, especially during the War for Cybertron Trilogy, complete teams would be divided thanks to exclusivity. One of the worst offenders of this recently was the Earthrise release of Starscream, where if you wanted to complete the six main Decepticon Seekers, you would have to find five of the six in three different retailers (at least in the U.S.). For international fans, the product even coming to your country isn't a guarantee. Just because a product might be exclusive to Target U.S. doesn't mean it's exclusive to Target/ Target equivalent stores internationally. When you have a line like G.I Joe Classified, where retailers are barely stocking the mainline where you live, let alone getting store exclusives like the "Cobra Island" subline, then your best option is to look elsewhere and hope the price isn't too high. So how did I get a Firefly? Facebook. Facebook contacts and Buy/ Swap/ Sell groups might not be the official way to get the products, but when the demand isn't meeting the supply, you go elsewhere. Was Firefly worth the trouble, though?

To start with, Firefly is, for the most part, a repaint of another Cobra Island figure, Beachhead. As tempting as it would be to do a dual review of them, I don't own a Beachhead. He and the Cobra Island Cobra Trooper are the two big holes in my Classified collection so far. It would be great to review at some point, but that won't be anytime soon. The two significant differences between them are the accessories and the ab crunch blocking vest the two figures have. Like with Roadblock, I am not a fan of these vests in execution, but I'm willing to make an exception for Firefly due to the design and the intended purpose of the vest. It's an explosive resistant vest meant to protect the wearer from heat and blasts from explosives, so a thick vest that's harder to move around makes sense for the character. I love the sculpting on it, things like the pockets at the front, the crotch and butt flaps, the grenades on one shoulder, with a shoulder guard on the other; it's well done. My only real complaint with it comes from the figure's neck. Thanks to some Q.C. issues, the neck on my copy of Firefly is a bit stiff, and when you combine it with the vest's neck protection, getting the head into positions that require him to look down are just a bit harder than they would otherwise be. I've been able to do it on mine, but it's often required taking the head off the ball joint, positioning the neck, and then putting the head back on. 

While I like Firefly's accessories, in theory, the execution is hit and miss for me. He comes with a handgun which... ok, tangent for a moment. One point I see brought up now and then that has people split, most leaning towards viewing it as a negative, are the weapons looking like Nerf Guns. I honestly don't see that comparison as bad, as the sculpting on many Nerf guns is very impressive. Most of the Nerf guns I have seen and used are only held back (in terms of a visual design) by their colours to ensure they comply with safety standards and don't look like real firearms. If you give them a better paint job, one that doesn't scream, "I'm a toy for kids to shoot with!" most Nerf weapons can look like really intimidating weapons. One of the frequent reasons I hear about it being a bad thing is the desire for realistic armaments, which is a fair reason, at least for G.I Joe. But for Cobra? I don't see the appeal. Most of their technology has often aired on the sci-fi side of the spectrum anyway. What realistic vehicle is the H.I.S.S. tank supposed to be? The S.N.A.K.E.? Serpentor's Air Chariot? The Trouble Bubbles? To my knowledge, the A-10 Thunderbolt doesn't have VTOL capabilities, and the Blackbird didn't have a second vehicle that attached to the top of it. So, why is Cobra using weapons inspired by a toyline that blends realistic design cues with futuristic ones a bad thing?

Alongside the excellent looking gun, Firefly comes with a pair of goggles that he can wear, a backpack to store most of his gear, a cluster of Dynamite sticks for an explosive, a drone, and a tablet controller for the drone. The only two significant problems are the dynamite and the tablet. The tablet can barely stay in his hand, and it takes next to no effort to pop it out, while the dynamite doesn't fit at all. I cannot for the life of me get him to hold the dynamite. Supposedly, the drone can carry the dynamite, but the connection for it feels, to use a Lego building term, illegal. It feels like connecting the dynamite to the feet of the drone puts strain on the drone's legs and could break them. With all of his gear on him, along with his grey camouflage look, he stands out in a good way when standing alongside your other Cobra figures, as the grey stands out nicely among the mainly dark blue, back and red aesthetic. 

While Firefly is a nice figure, the question about "is he good?" comes back to the issues related to the distribution of the Classified line, especially Cobra Island branded figures. He's a solid figure overall, not the best, but not the worst. He's average for the Classified line, which is still very impressive considering other 6-inch figures in other toylines. But was he worth the inflated price I paid for him second hand because there was no hope in him getting an official release here in Australia? Not really, no. If he were spectacular, then I would say it's worth getting him, but because he's only an average figure in an exclusive line, it's hard to not look at the effort needed and go, "he's not worth it".