Sunday 10 April 2022

G.I. Joe Retro Collection Cobra H.I.S.S III (with Rip It): The camera really does add mass.

Apologies for the month's hiatus. A combination of events including a return to work, lack of new toys that I feel could hold up a review on their own (I don't hear many requests for a review of the Lego Microfighters Razor Crest), an upcoming review on the other site for Pokemon Legends Arceus and work behind the scenes on recording more parts of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky for the RAWs channel. I do have something, though, that can be considered almost a prequel for a future review. Announced at the Hasbro Pulse live stream for the anniversary of G.I. Joe, fans of both G.I. Joe and Transformers will eventually be treated to a crossover toy, with Megatron transforming into a Cobra H.I.S.S. Tank. According to the stream, this will be the same size as a vintage H.I.S.S. Tank, as the toy will come with a Retro Baroness figure. So naturally, this got me curious about potentially reviewing a H.I.S.S. Tank, to do something many Transformers fans rarely get to do: compare the toy to the vehicle it's based on. One roughly $90 purchase from Amazon U.S. later, and the H.I.S.S. III is in my collection, as it was cheaper for me to get this than to find a complete vintage H.I.S.S. It even comes in Soundwave blue to act as a nice holdover until I potentially... hopefully... unlikely get that SDCC toy. Anyway, here's a review of the H.I.S.S. III.


I'll start this review by looking at Rip It, who, according to his bio sentences, can't even be described with words like mean and fearless. I might be more impressed if I saw the original card, but thanks to multi-language requirements, all I get is two sentences about how he wants to destroy things before being destroyed. I'm certainly more impressed with this guy than I am with my experiences with the Star Wars Vintage Collection, thanks to all the articulation in him. This figure is, to me, surprisingly agile. The only joint I wish he had (thanks to the Classified line spoiling me) is an inward ankle tilt. While it might be because of the extra vest over the torso, something I am looking to get a better feel of going forward, I don't see the point in bringing back the rubber O-Ring that was used in the 80s to add what would best be described as a waist swivel halfway up the stomach. While I acknowledge that these are effectively re-releases, and changing them would be akin to changing joints on Transformers G1 reissues, it somewhat fails as a selling point for me, as I've seen many other ways to do this style of movement that came out after the '80s. While Rip It and the H.I.S.S. III are 2000's toys; they are re-releases of the original H.I.S.S. Tank from the '80s, with most of Rip It's parts coming from the moulds used for the original H.I.S.S. Tank driver (except for the waist, which came from the 1992 Talking Battle Commander version of Cobra Commander). A potential Quality Control fault of my copy is his inability to stand straight. The legs want to snap back to have him lean forward a little, but this isn't the end of the world as he looks great when sitting down in the tank's cockpit. All it does is make the stand he comes with that bit more redundant for me. Still, he makes for a nice accompanying piece for the tank but wouldn't be anything special on his own.

 

Beauty in simplicity best describes the original H.I.S.S. Tank. While other versions have caught my interest thanks to how they deviate while keeping to the feel of the original (such as the 2005 version and the 2012 versions), there's still a nice charm to the original design. As with most of the parts for Rip It, this is, as far as I can tell, a repaint of the original H.I.S.S. Tank, with the only differences being the plastic colour the main body was moulded in, new paint on the tank treads, and new sticker details. There may also be differences in plastics used between releases, but if all you want is a H.I.S.S. Tank, and don't care about it not being black, then this is a valid version to get, based on looks alone. It is amusing to look at this toy after seeing how insane some of the later Cobra vehicles became in the 80s and 90s, along with how later incarnations deviate from the original look. This tank looks and feels underpowered and reserved in comparison, like looking at a picture of a Star-Wars AT-AT, without the context of the size, and comparing it to vehicles like the AT-TE and the AT-M6. Not the toy's fault of course; time is just cruel. In terms of functions, you have a set of fake wheels to allow the tank to move, though it is a shame that the wheels are locked as pairs rather than four stand-alone wheels as it makes turning harder to do. You also have a rotating turret with the linked guns to angle up and down. A tow hook is on the back of the tank, which gives it compatibility with the tow vehicles from around the time of the original H.I.S.S. Tank, but something I'm not sure can be easily used now as I don't know if said vehicles have been re-released. A figure can be seated in the cockpit quite comfortably with the windscreen able to close over them; however, hairstyle and accessories may become an issue, with three more figures able to hitch a ride thanks to the turret having room for a gunner. Two plugs on the back of the tank give space for two more figures to stand on and hitch a ride. It's certainly not the most action-packed toy, but considering it was likely intended as a moderately priced toy, not the big toy for the year but not one of the smallest either, it does the job very well. I was surprised by how small it was and the box it came in. From what I had seen, I was expecting something a little bigger, with a box much larger. It's making me question if I actually would have the room for one of those Haslab Skystrikers, but even if I did, I didn't order one, so it won't be an issue. 


The H.I.S.S. III is in an interesting position for me when it comes to summing up my views on it and figuring out if it's worth it. Hasbro reissues of Transformers aren't generally worth the cost; I believe they're overpriced for what they are (at least they are here in Australia). The main reason for this is that they've often shared shelf space with the modern versions of the characters that are cheaper, can do more, and are just overall better toys. Rip It would fall into this category as well, as while there is no Classified version of him yet, it's hard to say, "yes, go get a new version of this 80's figure that costs more then the larger figure with more paint applications, more detailed sculpting and more articulation". But there is no modern H.I.S.S. Tank on the shelves right now (at least here in Australia, where there isn't any version of the H.I.S.S. Tank on shelves). Sure, Megatron H.I.S.S. is coming out in a few months, and while that objectively does more than the H.I.S.S. III, it's cheating to do that by being a Transformer. By modern standards, I wouldn't say the H.I.S.S. III is a good toy, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy with it. The H.I.S.S. Tank is an iconic vehicle from the Real American Hero toyline, and just having a version of the tank is a delight for someone who likes the vehicles. Bringing cost back into consideration, I believe this is a cheaper way to get a copy of the toy compared to purchasing a vintage one; however, I'm not in the know when it comes to vintage G.I. Joe toy buying outside of Facebook live streams and eBay (which at time of writing didn't have a vintage copy listed anywhere). In that regard, I do think it's worth it, but in saying that, I wish there were a Classified equivalent line for bringing new versions of the vehicles to collectors' hands (albeit not in a 6-inch scale, some of those vehicles would be massive at that size). If you are a fan of the tank itself, this is a great way to get it.

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